Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Whoa!

Well, I got a wake-up call today. I went to the doctor and he used the "i" word: insulin. My numbers were up last time I had a blood test, and I had another blood test today. Hopefully those numbers will be better than last time. I have been eating better and exercising more, but I told my doctor that before we go down the "i" route, I want to put more effort into eating right and exercising more.
My Mom takes insulin for her diabetes, and I feel it is a major major step that I don't want to take...at least I want to delay it as long as I can. Good thing I made that resolution about no desserts this year. That should help my blood sugar numbers, I'd think.
I told Andy about it, and he has suggested that I read about using apple cider vinegar to reduce my blood sugar. I went online and read some about it, and it sounds like it's pretty effective. It can't hurt, right? Though Andy and a lot of other people online say it tastes nasty. Still, that's a small price to pay if it keeps me from having to go on insulin. I think I have some in my cupboard...if not, a trip to the grocery store is in order.
Lucky for me, I have a pot of vegetable soup waiting for me at home so I don't need to put a lot of thought into what I can have for dinner tonight. (And yes, I splurged at lunch with a burger and onion rings from the Spotted Cow and a few minutes ago, I broke my resolution and went to Sweet CeCe's with some co-workers for one last splurge of frozen yogurt--non-fat.) Now I need to get super-serious.
I'm sure they'll call me in a day or two with the results of my blood test, but I'm not waiting to hear back. The diet starts with dinner tonight. I'll be reading all I can get my hands on about blood sugar reducing foods...and I already know that exercise is one of the quickest ways to lower blood sugar.
I'm not feeling much "peace" right now...sort of a sickening, churning feeling. So I'm going to need to have some devotion time tonight and get in touch with my spiritual side, too. I'm so glad I don't have plans for tonight. I think it's going to be a good time to get in the right mindset, fight off anything negative I'm feeling right now, and get down to business.
Suddenly, this is more than something I want to do. The abstract "doing it for my health" thing is gone and now it's real. Now it's something I need to do.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Gaining peace

Sorry I haven't been too good about posting lately. I stayed in over my lunch hour and just finished a nice salad. Between that and a pop-in visit from Jordan, one of my favorite students here at Bradley, I am motivated to check in here in again. Jordan tells me he has lost 30 lbs. since August. How cool is that?
I am so proud of him. He's one of those rare college students who weighs less now than when he came in as a freshman. He still wants to lose a few more pounds, but he looks wonderful. Of course, he always has!
I haven't gotten on the scale lately. It scares me to get on there because if I don't lose as much weight as I think I should, I get discouraged. So I'm better off staying away from the scales. Besides, I wasn't feeling the best for a few days last week and didn't get to work out like I normally do. I was back at it this morning, though. So between working out and staying in and eating a salad, I'm feeling really good about my efforts!
Oh, and yesterday, we were celebrating a birthday in the family and my sister made one of the recipes my niece Laura has tried as part of her anti-inflammatory diet. She is trying this new eating lifestyle in an attempt to beat migraines. You can find her blog at spicingupmylife.blogspot.com. Her blog includes recipes...we had the Southwest Chicken Tostadas, only we had flour tortillas (she had a whole wheat tortilla) and made them into tacos. Delicious, and guilt-free! Look it up and try it. I especially like the lime in the recipe...and my sister added corn to the recipe, too.
With Lent approaching, I am committed to being more faithful in my quest for inspiration by thinking and studying and writing about peace. Yesterday in Sunday School, we began a Lenten study. We watched a 10-minute video, then had a discussion. In the video, Adam Hamilton, the leader, talked about Luke 23:34 where Jesus is on the cross and says, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
Adam makes the observation that "them" refers not only to the people there that day who wanted him crucified, but he was referring to all of us. He said that God's forgiveness, His love, was there waiting for us before we were even born. He drew an analogy saying it's like Christmas, when you have gifts under the tree. The gifts have been bought and are ready to be opened, but it's not until you open them on Christmas that you use them.
I especially am encouraged at the thought that people I know who do not believe in God also have their unwrapped gifts of love and forgiveness waiting for them. Talk about a giving tree! God keeps giving us more and more gifts every day. I found such peace in all of this. Knowing that God loves me this much, that he has even more unwrapped gifts waiting for me--some of them waiting for me as I follow Him more diligently and lose weight and get to do more of what He has planned for me--gives me such a thrill and a feeling of true peace.
As I've said before, this is the first time I've brought prayer and meditation into my weight loss journey. Wow, what a difference it makes. Today, I think about Jesus on the cross and know that essentially He was saying, "Father, forgive Nancy for she knows not what she is doing." This gives such an overwhelming peace. I mean, I've been foolish to not watch what I ate more closely all of these previous years. Yes, I've gone on diets and I've lost weight, but then, I've gained it all back and more. I didn't know how foolish I was being. I didn't think about consequences...I was thinking in the moment.
One dessert won't hurt me. A second helping won't hurt me. Now here I am, definitely slowed down by my weight and concerned that it could affect my health more than it already has. I was foolish, but I am at peace knowing that God is ready to help me, ready to hand me one more gift and then another if I will only follow Him...and if I do slip, He'll be there with a helping hand to lift me back up.
Now knowing that is true peace of mind!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Commitment



I joined Spark People (a very cool website) a couple weeks ago, and while I don't fully utilize it, I really like some of the emails I receive. I follow them on Pinterest, too, and when I saw this motivational quote, I knew I needed to blog about it.

The words are so true about so many things, including dieting/choosing a healthy lifestyle. That "no excuses" kind of commitment can be tough when it comes to dieting--it's easy to just say, "Oh, the cookie's broken...no calories, right?" or "I'm tired (or busy, or don't feel like it, or fill in the blank); I don't think I'll work out today."

Believe me, I know. I've made those excuses, those rationalizations. But you know what? Without that full-on commitment, you also don't have full-on results. Sure, sometimes you can slip by and maybe still lose a little weight one week, but it eventually catches up with you.


Commitment is what led me to change my time for working out. If you had told me a year ago that I'd be getting up at 5:45 to work out, I would have said you were crazy. I HATE exercise and thinking about getting up early to do it was out of the question. I love to sleep.

But the thing is, my desire to lose weight and get healthy is more than a wish. It's a commitment, and I know exercise is an important part of the "healthy" equation. I also know that if I'm really going to commit to exercise on a regular basis, I either need to drop my social life and work out in the evenings or get up early and work out. (An added benefit is that I now work out with my friend, Lynn, so I have the added bonus of some socializing during those early morning workouts.)

It's not unusual for me to have plans two, three, or four weeknights in a week, and I'm a person who MUST have her social life. I'm the extrovert in those Meyers-Briggs tests who is energized from being around people. I think I would shrivel up into a heap of sadness if I gave up my time with friends and family to exercise. So what I've done in the past was exercise when I had no other plans. I was "interested."

Another thing I've noticed is that when I'm committed and working out every day, it just becomes part of my schedule and I don't really think about whether or not I want to exercise. I just do it. It becomes part of my morning schedule, like brushing my teeth or taking a shower. I've also noticed that if for some reason, I don't work out one morning, it's so easy to lose the commitment and not work out the next morning. I can't do that; it's what has led to roller coaster diets in the past.

I'm not falling into that rut this time. I can see how being overweight is affecting me. In the past year, climbing a set of stairs has become more of a challenge, my left knee will start to hurt if I walk too much--things like that, which, even though I've had weight issues my entire life, never bothered me before. I feel like I'm at a crossroads. It's time for me to get serious about this before things get serious in a different way. Right now, I can still commit to being healthy and do everything in my power to eat healthy and work out. If I start having trouble getting around, I know I will find myself at a whole other domino-effect level where I have trouble working out, which leads to gaining weight, which leads to more trouble working out, etc. I don't want to go down that path, and right now, I can still choose the healthy pat. Otherwise, I'm going to be aging before I should, with health problems galore, unable to get out and about like I'm accustomed to doing. I don't want to be that person. I want to be a vital, healthy woman who can go do all the things I want to do without hesitation.

So back to early morning workouts. The way I look at it, I am committed to putting my health first. So if exercise is an important part of that equation, why not make it the first thing I do each day? It's the one way I make it a no excuses commitment, and it has the added benefit of setting the tone for the day. It's so easy for me to slip in my eating habits if my exercise habits are slipping, too. And then, pretty soon, there I am, letting all sensibility about my health get tossed aside and indulging every time the opportunity comes up.

Speaking of indulging, I really believe that by keeping my resolution of no desserts in 2012, I will learn to be sensible about those indulgences. I will reserve those splurges for the really special treats that I truly will enjoy. I can't tell you how much I appreciate something my co-worker, Erin, said the other day. We were having an office celebration and there was this awesome looking chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and chopped Snickers on top. I told Erin after the party that the cake had been a big temptation for me. She told me it really wasn't as good as it looked, and what a difference that made. The leftovers sitting there right outside my office door lost their appeal. I know what she means. How often have you had some sweet treat that looks oh so good, but in reality, just doesn't taste THAT great. I mean, I would still eat it, and yes, it was fine, but it wasn't awesome. I'm holding out for the awesome stuff from now on, I mean--once 2012 is over, and if it doesn't taste as good as it looks, I'm not going to eat the whole thing.

That's part of my commitment. When I eat something that isn't healthy, I want to stop and assess, not just go ahead and eat it. If it isn't absolutely marvelous and also isn't absolutely healthy, I am going to stop eating it. Thin people do it all the time. It's time for me to do the same thing!

I just read this rambling stream of consciousness. I kind of went all over the place here, but these are the things I'm thinking today and after all, that's what blogging is all about, right? I know fellow dieters will understand, and hopefully, others will find motivation in what I've written.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

A spiritual workout

I did a Bible search online for the word "peace" and randomly chose a passage for inspiration. This comes from Daniel 10:19: "Peace be with you. Take courage and be courageous!"

I had to smile when I realized how much this answers the dilemma I told you about in my last blog entry. In that entry, I revealed how scary it is to think about being thin. There's a certain amount of comfort in being heavier...and I guess, since I've had a weight problem pretty much my entire life, there's comfort in the "known" of being overweight.

I love how God speaks whenever you open a Bible and how, depending on where you are in your life, the same passage can hold so many different meanings. I'm sure many people have seen those words and taken comfort, just as I am know.

"Peace be with you." PEACE--it's such an awesome gift. I feel like God is telling me, "Stop worrying, Nancy. The future is always uncertain. But you need to do what you can to make it the best it can be. You need to do it for your health and for your happiness."

The two go hand in hand, and I know that. If you don't have your health, it impairs every aspect of your life. Up to now, my weight hasn't slowed me down all that much, but even in the last year, I've noticed a big difference. I know I need to do this, and I need to do it now before my body really starts to fall apart.

"Take courage and be courageous." I feel like God is acknowledging these fears I have, but He also knows I can do it. I just have to shed those fears along with the pounds and be all that I can be. Being courageous is so very attainable through God.

I need to deeply breathe in the love of the Lord and allow Him to fill me with courage. I know that with God, I am all-powerful in overcoming any temptations, any moments of lazinsss when I don't want to work out...all of that. With peace comes courage and vice versa, with courage comes peace.

I know with every ounce of my being that with God as my coach, I can overcome this overweight state and look and feel the way God intends for me. I also know that God will be my protector when I'm thinner, just as much as He is now. I just need to "work out" in the form of devotions and prayer along with my physical workouts. Peace and courage are there for us.

We just need to step...or jog, or swim, or run...in faith.

Praise God. And peace be with you.