Starry-eyed!

Well, I got a star for the day. When I weighed in at Weight Watchers today, I had blown past the 10-pound mark. In fact, I lost five pounds today alone! Woo hoo! Kinda cool--I feel like a little kid who had done a good deed in school! I kind of feel like I'm walking around with a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other. My initial thought was, "I should celebrate and have something bad for lunch." Then I thought, "I should celebrate and have something GOOD for lunch." I chose a taco salad, no shell, no chips, just salad. After a few bites, I decided it was missing tomatoes. Someone had brought in tomatoes from their garden so I decided to go to the office kitchen and slice some on top of my salad. (More veggies, you know. I was really on the "celebrate and be good" kick.) So, I go back to my office, sit down, and the amber alert thing went off on our weather radio in the empty office next to mine. I got up to turn off the siren sound, and I don't know what happened, but plop, my salad ended up all over the floor. Tossed salad, for sure. I was so, so sad. My immediate thought this time was that it was a sign that I could have something bad. (!) I could go to McDonald's! I know, some of you might be thinking, "Yuck, you would go off your diet for that???" My answer, an emphatic, "YES!!!" But I didn't. My angel shoulder reminded me that I had a can of soup in my food stash under my desk. Soup in the summer isn't half bad when you tell yourself you are doing the right thing. So, I am continuing to celebrate by being good. Tonight, I will celebrate again by going to water fitness. My slacks fell off last time I had a swimsuit underneath them. I'll try to keep my pants on this time when I change.

Weigh-In Day: -4.6 lbs.

Well, the meds may be wreaking havoc on me with headaches and stomach issues, but on the plus side, I saw some happy results on the scale. I lost 4.6 pounds this week! It's not just the medicine--I DO get to take some of the credit. I have very faithfully been following the low-carb diet my doctor prescribed. Whole wheat bread is about the only carb I can have, and I have really been limiting that. You know the Flat Out flatbread you can buy? Well, I found Flat Out "fold over" bread that's 100 percent whole wheat with flax. It's like two smaller round pieces of flatbread that are attached, if you can picture that. At the grocery store, I was able to get a fajita mix that I cooked for just about five minutes and then put in the fold over bread--yummy and so easy! I also mixed up some scrambled eggs with mushrooms, green peppers, and a little goat cheese and put that in the fold over bread for another meal. Other than that, I have not had any bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, etc. (Local readers: the fold over bread and the fajita mix, available with either chicken or steak for $3.99 lb., both came from Haddad's Grocery in West Peoria.) I have a new favorite place for lunch: Chicky Baba, a new Lebanese restaurant in Campustown. They are really helpful in keeping me on my diet. I get the kid's portion of whatever meal I want--shawarma, kabob, whatever--and ask to have it with no wrap, no rice, no fries. They are kind enough to offer to serve the meat on lettuce and give me pickles and a side of hummus instead. This place has something like 10 kinds of hummus, so it's a real treat. I realize hummus would have some carbs, but it is basically mashed up chickpeas--and since that's a vegetable, I go with it. I love, love, love this place. Even if you don't live in the Peoria area, maybe you can find a Lebanese or Greek restaurant in your area that will do something similar. This place is awesome whether you are dieting or not. I can't say enough good things about it. Finally, I must apologize. When I write my posts, I put in paragraph returns, but for some reason, they don't show up in the published blog. This drives me crazy! If you know what I'm doing wrong, please let me know.

Conquering the meds

Well, today is a much better day. It's the first day since I started on my new meds that I have not had a headache...a SEVERE headache. Let's just say, it was a very quiet weekend for me. On Saturday, I also started the last of the three meds--there had been an insurance snafu because it was a combo medicine, and I had a prescription for one of the two meds, so we had to go through a rig-a-ma-rol (is that a word?) with the insurance company. When I was at the pharmacy, I asked the pharmacist about the headaches. She did a little research and told me she was sorry to tell me, but ALL THREE meds have headaches as a side effect. She advised me to stick with it for a week more and see if my body adjusts, and if not, to tell my doctor. Well, today, I had to go back to the doctor's office for a blood test, so I decided I would ask then. Of course, it's like taking the car into the mechanic and the car doesn't make the funny noise when you are there. My headache was gone...no complaints, but isn't that the way it is??? I asked anyway, especially because I am supposed to double the dose of one of my meds starting tomorrow night. The nurse told me that if the headaches return as I increase the dosage, I should scale back for a week and try to increase it again. Such fun! One good thing, though, is that I am not experiencing the nausea I felt at first, so my body does seem to be adjusting. I also need to increase another of my meds--one that causes stomach issues, if you know what I mean. Oh joy. Ah, well, I hope that once my body adjusts, I will feel well, lose weight, and have good readings for my blood sugar. Venturing into the diet realm, I am really proud of what I did for lunch at the little Mexican restaurant just around the corner from where I work. I ordered a taco salad on the plate instead of in the tortilla bowl. Then, because I love, love, love the tortilla chips but have been told not to have any breads (other than occasional whole wheat bread), I asked if I could have some fresh green pepper strips to dip in the salsa. I could tell the waiter had never had such a request and probably thought I was a little crazy, but he did it! It was great! I often dip celery in salsa at home, but I figured they wouldn't have celery on hand. However, they have green peppers for fajitas, so I decided to ask. I didn't even miss the chips! Oh, and also, I'm giving myself kudos because instead of going to the ice cream social, featuring probably six flavors of homemade ice cream, that is happening in my building right now, I am stay away, working except for the five minutes it takes to write this. I'd love to socialize, but I'm not going to deal with that kind of temptation. So, all in all, I'm feeling better, my will power is going strong, and hopefully, I'll be seeing a weight loss this week. Happy Monday to you all. If you are healthy, it truly is cause to celebrate!

A fork in the road

Well, my journey has taken a turn. A couple of weeks ago, I had a routine check-up at the doctor. My blood test revealed that my A1C, which tests my blood sugar over the past three months, had spiked. It's supposed to be at 7, but mine was at 10. So, my doctor referred me to an endocrinologist. I had my appointment on Tuesday, and he put me on three new diabetes medicines. I've had diabetes since 2001, but it has been under control and I haven't worried about it too much. It now has my full attention! All three of these medicines have different side effects, and in the past few days, I've dealt with nausea, stomach issues, low blood sugar, severe headaches...just plain not feeling well. I came into work late one morning, but other than that, I've been working and last night, I was feeling better and had a great night out with friends. But yesterday during the day, I felt lousy until maybe 2 p.m., and today, I have a bit of a headache and can't quit yawning. It's no big deal. I can get through this. The doctor told me he wished he had a crystal ball and could tell me which medicines are going to be the right combination for me so I can get my blood sugar under control, but it varies from person to person. Untold numbers of people have been through this before, and I'll get through it, too. I also am going to be tested for another ailment on Monday. No need to bore you with details if I don't have it, though, so I'll wait to talk about it. It's nothing awful--actually, I truly do have a lot of the symptoms, and if they all could be taken care of by treating this, I would be thankful. I still am going to go to Weight Watchers. When I weighed in yesterday, I had stayed the same. However, I was on vacation last week while my son was back in town, and I splurged some while he was back, so I am satisfied with staying the same. One of my new meds has a side effect of being an appetite suppressant, and I have to say, it is working. I get full faster, and then, until I feel my body physically being hungry, I'm not thinking about food. WHAT???? Me??? My doctor told him that he actually had one patient tell him that he wanted to be taken off the medication because he didn't enjoy food like he used to. It IS kind of a weird thing, but it's also a good thing. There are so many more sweet things to enjoy in life, and I embrace them all. So, my journey is going to be more focused on controlling diabetes, along with weight loss. I hope you don't mind. I am what I am!

Weigh-In Day, #2: Eight Sticks of Butter

It's weigh-in day, and I'm happy to report I've lost two more pounds. That's eight sticks of butter, folks! (5.4 pounds in two weeks) I'm also happy to report that after my last blog about exercise, my super friend Jana and I have walked the lagoon for the past two nights. Last night, we met up with her husband Keith and had salads afterwards. I really feel blessed to have such encouraging friends. Three other friends have offered to walk with me, too, and I'm sure I will do that, too. I have a busy day today, or I'd tell about some restaurant favorites I'm finding that are working well. Another time! Have a happy and healthy day!

Moving it

Exercise is by far my biggest challenge in weight loss. I dislike it with a passion. It doesn't help that I broke my ankle a year and a half ago--ever since then, getting back in the groove has been tough. Now I not only don't like it, but it is more of a challenge because I am so out of shape from not exercising. So I get winded way too easy, and I walk more slowly, and I like it even less than ever. My doctor told me that if I would exercise for just 20 minutes a day, that would be good. I took that to heart, and most days, I have been doing that. But I have to admit, I didn't over the weekend. I was tired from our Relay for Life event, and on Saturday and Sunday, I just didn't make myself do it. I was home. I could have. I didn't. My eating this weekend was fabulous, though. I tracked everything I ate, and I ate very healthy meals with small portions. I can even kind of feel the inner, thinner me itching to get out. Right now, I am very motivated with my diet. Now, I just need to devote at least 20 minutes a day to moving! When I joined Weight Watchers, I also decided to enroll in the 21-day challenge that inspirational leader Lysa TerKeurst offers in conjunction with her book, "Made to Crave." You get 21 days of inspirational emails for free. Today's email was about exercise. I found it helpful, so I am sharing it here: I know I feel a sense of accomplishment when I exercise, that it puts me in the right frame of mind to eat the right things, that it is good for my health--all those positive things. I just need to be more disciplined and do it!

My Weight Watcher's meeting was over lunch, and am happy to report I lost 3.4 pounds! Woo hoo! We have two meetings at work, and this time, I went to the later one. There were just two members there plus two from Weight Watchers, so it became a very relaxed meeting where we could just talk. My downfall in the past has been eating out, so I asked the others about their favorite places to go and feel like they can successfully stay on track. I'm a very social person, and I have lunch out nearly every day plus frequently go out for dinner. I've really thought about this a lot this past week, and I came to the conclusion that if I deny myself going out with friends, that isn't going to work, either. I need to find strategies to make it OK to eat out with my friends. I know the ideas about taking half your food home, asking for your dressing on the side, all those things. One of the biggest things we talked about was planning ahead. I got online before every meal to look at nutrition information for chain restaurants and to read general information about what to eat at the other cuisines I tried this week. For instance, before going to Qdoba, I made a plan to get a Craft 2 meal with two crispy tacos and a taco salad, all with pork, lettuce, mango salsa, verde sauce, no cheese, but I opted for some sour cream because it was lower in calories than I expected. I was surprised that the crisp tacos were 30 calories less than the flour tortillas. I had remembered from dieting before that pork was the leanest meat there. It still surprised me that the shredded beef was lower in calories than the chicken--only the ground beef was higher than the chicken. As I ate the meal, I was pleasantly surprised that I really didn't miss the cheese as much as I thought I would. I mean, really surprised. Cheese is a staple like chocolate, right? But seriously. Try some tacos without the cheese. As weird as it sounds, it works! Another strategy I used was to read up on what to eat before going to the new Thai restaurant near Bradley. Did you know that in Thailand, pad thai is eaten in very small portions? The article I read recommended getting the som tum (papaya spicy salad), and I am going to get that next time. But, I wanted something other than salad my first time there. I settled on the pad nam prik pau (sauteed with a sweet Thai chili paste, onions, carrots, peapods, and bamboo shoots...and I chose pork for the meat.) Talk about tasty!!! I chose it because many of the dishes were stir fried or pan fried or had fried rice--notice a trend? I have no idea what the points or calories were for my meal, but it was very, very good and while it probably would have been healthier if it were steamed instead of sauteed, I thought sauteed was better than anything with the word "fried" in it. Last night, I went to Super Gyros where we had a buy one gyro, get one free coupon so I didn't venture over to the gyro salad or other options. I asked for that incredible cucumber sauce on the side and didn't use even half of it, so I know I saved a boatload of calories there. Some strategies from the Weight Watchers meeting include getting chili and baked potato at Wendy's (I also saw that their grilled chicken wrap and their half Asian chicken salad seem to be good choices), choosing the kid-sized potato at McAlister's, and getting an unwich (lettuce wrap) or Tom Turkey from Jimmy John's...oh, and the black bean soup or chicken noodle soup at Panera. In the past, I have often ordered kid-sized portions whenever the kid's menu has choices I am interested in. It's sad that salads are often laden with surprise calories. I have to say, though, I have discovered a wonderful salad right in my back yard, so to speak. The Student Center offers a custom salad where they include whatever you ask them to. They have wonderful choices with tomatoes and cucumbers diced up really small like I like, artichokes, broccoli chopped really fine, strawberries, blueberries, meats, cheeses (not me!) and other great options. Both last week and this week, I got one after attending the Weight Watcher's meeting and I can see this becoming my Thursday choice for lunch. Their cilantro lime dressing is out of this world. They were out of it this week so I went with a vinaigrette and asked them to put on just one spoonful instead of two. They toss the salad there and it was a-MAZ-ing! It makes me want to go try a salad from Subway. What are some of your favorite places to go and still feel good about staying on track?

Step One

I took the first step and went to the Weight Watchers meeting over lunch. I'm signed up for the next 17 weeks. The leader and her assistant, who know me because, let's face it, I've been there before, were welcoming, and I thought the meeting was good. Weight Watchers has a new "Simple Start" plan that looks like a great way to begin. Basically, you have a good-sized list of foods you can have, and you don't have to weigh, measure, or track anything. It's all common sense things like fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, high-fiber carbs--and the book gives recipes and restaurant tips, too. The leader says that while they suggest everyone start off on this plan for two weeks before going to Points Plus, many people like to stay on it because it's easy to follow. Oh, and there is a list of indulgences to choose from each day, too. Tammy, the leader, pointed out that you can take the list on the back of the booklet to the grocery store, and if you buy what's on there, you'll be set with everything you need. How easy is that? After the meeting, I stopped at the Student Center food court. I've been hearing that the salads there are great, so I tried a little one. It was great--sort of like a salad bar, except they put on whatever ingredients you want--so in that way, it's more like Subway. They had a fat-free cilantro lime dressing that's out of this world. I can definitely see this being my routine, and the nice thing is that if I can't make the meeting for some reason, I have plenty of other opportunities with the Weight Watchers' meetings in Peoria and Pekin. I'm feeling very motivated, and I also feel like it's my lucky day--I found some cash on the ground on my way back. It was enough to pay for my WW membership. How about that!

Back in the game

Guess what! I'm back! I've been trying to lose weight for the past few months, but while I have been watching what I eat and exercising more, I just need to dedicate myself to it more. A new at-work session of Weight Watchers begins today, and I'm going to join. I'm writing this blog because I want the accountability. I just read something about how it takes a village, not only to raise a child, but to succeed in weight loss. I found the article inspirational, and I hope you will be part of my village to support me when I succeed and encourage me if I backslide, and to walk beside me if you also want to lose weight. Please let me know how you are doing, too. I think one of my biggest problems with dieting is carving out the time for it. Time for exercise, time to grocery shop and get the fresh foods I need, time to clean, chop, dice--whatever I need to do to make sure the foods are easy to grab for a snack, time to cook and clean up afterwards (sliding through the drive-through for a quick something off the dollar menu becomes way too tempting when you cook for one.) Oh, and I really need to take the time to check out the current Weight Watchers program. I know they change, and I keep wanting to revert to what I was familiar with from Weight Watchers a few years ago. The thing is, I then don't put my whole heart into it. This time, I'm taking a fresh approach--as if I had never been in Weight Watchers before. Because this time I want things to be different. This is going to be the time I succeed in taking off the weight and keeping it off. It's not about looking good; it's about being healthy. So, my first goal is to carve out the time needed to make this a successful venture and do all the things I listed above. After all, I'm worth it!

My chicken sandwich theology

I have been feeling nudges from within to comment on the whole Chik-Fil-A debacle for the past week or so. I was afraid I wouldn’t be eloquent enough, and I have been praying about this a lot. I am truly disturbed by the Chik-Fil-A president’s statement that he is afraid of what God is going to think of our country when it permits same-sex marriages. Well, I am concerned about what God is thinking of people who claim to be Christians behaving in such a hateful and hurtful way. People seem to feel empowered to express their intolerance about the issue of same-sex marriage. It seems to me that in this age of political correctness, people somehow think it’s still OK to belittle and hate gay people. Our ancestors have disappointed God time and again with racial prejudice, and I believe today we are disappointing God with our bigotry toward our fellow Americans whose sexual orientation is different from the majority. Do I think that the legalization of same-sex marriages is going to bring down the wrath of God? No, I do not. I think He is far more unhappy about the hate that is being expressed in churches, in conversations, in lines at Chik-Fil-A. The topic in my Sunday School class today was “What Would Jesus Say to Our Nation Today?” The lesson focused on three points: justice, righteousness (meaning doing the right thing at the right time), and love. That lesson more than anything prompted me to stop thinking about it and to actually write this blog. I want to stand up for people who are under-represented and do the right thing NOW out of love. I have many gay and lesbian friends, and I believe with all my heart that God created them just the way he wanted them. I do not believe that our sexuality is a choice. We are who we are because God made us as we are. Yes, we can strive to be better people within, but some things are simply part of our DNA. If you have alienated yourself from gay people, then you are missing out on being with some of the most incredible people on this planet. Being gay is part of who my friends are, but it isn’t their sole identity. I love my gay friends because they are beautiful human beings with loving and giving souls. I wouldn’t change one thing about any of them, just like I don’t want to change my straight friends. God made each of us, and God doesn’t make mistakes. People like to point to a couple of scriptures and base all their hate and anger on a few words. If you ask me, the overarching message of the Bible is love. We are asked to love one another and to be kind. I look at all the crazy things going on in this world, and I don’t understand how people can point to same-sex marriage and say it is the one thing that is going to lead to the downfall of us as a people. All gay people want is the same thing the rest of us want: to make a lifetime commitment to the one person they love more than any other and to have all the legal rights and privileges that everyone else enjoys. It’s the antithesis of the “gay lifestyle” stereotype that too many people envision, of people flitting from one person to another with no real feelings. Plenty of straight people live that kind of life and yet there doesn’t seem to be a big uproar about that. Nor is there a big uproar about couples living together outside of wedlock, or people having affairs, or a whole lot of other choices people make. And in those cases, people are making choices; again, being gay is not a choice. I’m not saying we should judge the choices people make in their lives—that’s something between them and God. We all fall short of the perfection we have in Jesus Christ, and we are so blessed that our slate is wiped clean when we accept Jesus as our Savior. What I’m saying is, why are people focused on this one segment of the population? This isn’t even something they’re trying to force upon churches that do not want to allow gay weddings. No one is saying that has to happen. That whole argument about the definition of marriage doesn’t hold water, either. Straight people have been defiling what a marriage is supposed to be for decades. Many have gotten married for all the wrong reasons—reasons that have nothing to do with love and lifetime commitments, but here, we have a situation where two people of the same sex want to get married for all the right reasons. I strongly believe in the founding principle of separation of church and state. We are not supposed to force our religious beliefs on others. Isn’t this what all the clamor is about? People say same-sex marriage goes against their religious beliefs, so it just better not be legal. How ludicrous! We are not forced to attend a particular church, or any church at all, and yet a far-too-large segment of our population thinks that they have some right to force their beliefs on the entire country. The Bible is all about love: the love God has for us, the love we should have for Him and Jesus, and the love we have for one another. What I’m seeing is a spewing of hate that is reprehensible. It’s that hate that upsets God, I believe. Not only is it the hate itself, but it’s the fact that many gay and lesbian people are led to believe there is not a place for them with God. We as Christians are supposed to be disciples, bringing people to the Lord, but instead, far too many are embracing a message that says homosexuals are not worthy of God. None of us are worthy. It is only through God’s grace that any of us will find a home in heaven. But I will tell you this, when I am in heaven, I want my very dear gay and lesbian friends there with me. I don’t want them to feel that God has turned His back on them, because He hasn’t. People have turned their backs, or worse, gotten ugly about all of this. I’m here to tell you, though, that not all Christians feel that way. I hope and pray that my brothers and sisters of all sexual orientations can see through all the clamor and refuse to stereotype all Christians as close-minded, hate-mongers who abhor gay people. And don’t give me that “love the man, hate the sin” stuff. There is no way that the actions we have seen over the past couple of weeks is loving in any way. Besides, that saying carries so much judgment. Let’s just leave it at “love the man or woman.” We need to stand together and embrace one another as people of God. We are all human. We all have struggles, we all need God, we all need each other. My gay friends have been there for me during the lowest points of my life, showing me love and lifting me up as much as my straight friends, and I want them all to know that I am beside them now and always. My prayer is that we as a nation will begin the healing process and create an environment not of just tolerance or acceptance, but of love and understanding. That healing process begins one person at a time, and I want my gay friends to know that there is a place for you with God. I would be proud to sit with you in church. I want you to feel the unconditional love that God showers on me each and every day. I hope that God’s love shines through me and that you know that I see you as a very important part of the family of God—a wonderful creation of God—and that the world is a better place because you are in it.

My giant

OK, well , I am away overdue in posting a blog. I have kind of lost my mojo in the last month or two and it is time to get back on track. Today's sermon was just what I needed to hear, and after the service, I sought out the pastor and told him the sermon was so inspiring that I took notes. Today's scripture looked at the story of David and Goliath. Gary, our pastor, said the other soldiers compared themselves to the giant and were unsuccessful, but David compared the power of Goliath to the power of God and was unafraid. Instead of being weighed down with armor, David's only protection was a slingshot, five stones...and God. Gary went on to say we have giants in our lives. It can be a bad marriage, financial difficulties, a bad job situation. I realized as I sat there that my giant is my weight problem. As much as I want to lose weight, and as successful as I can be, I eventually get discouraged because I have a lot to lose. Today's sermon reminded me that all I have to do is call on God and turn this over to Him. Of course, I need to do the workouts and eating right, but I also need to hand it over to God and trust that He is there for me. As Gary said, we all have the same resources that David did. We just need to do as he did and first, put our confidence in God. Second, we need to remember the resources we need to succeed are already present in God. Third, go forth with God. David did not have a lucky shot. God guided the stone. He concluded by saying God is bigger than any giant problem you may face today. For me, it is conquering my weight problem. No matter what your giant is, He is here for you, too.

A good week

This has been a really good week. I've really stuck with my eating and exercise routine, and I've even started to feel the weight loss in my clothes. I was going to weigh myself every other week because I get discouraged if I haven't lost enough, but this week, I could tell I'd lost. I got on the scales, and yes, I'm down another 2 pounds. That's 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks and 25 pounds lighter than a year ago!
I had a great conversation with a co-worker at work. She had done this health assessment that we do at work if we want to have the discounted rate for the gym on campus. I didn't do it this year, as I'm committed to the early morning workouts at Parkside. My friend is in great shape--she lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago but gained back five pounds in the past year. She told me she couldn't believe how much those five pounds impacted her numbers like cholesterol and such. She told me as further motivation to stay on track, and I really appreciate it.
She also told me about this plan she read about where you make one change each week. As she said, she has this tendency to make all sorts of changes all at once, but by making one change each week, you slowly add good habits. I haven't been drinking enough water, so my change for this week is to drink at least five glasses a week and add to it until eventually, it's eight glasses.
I also wanted to mention a great find. My niece is on a no sugar diet and has talked about Lara bars. When I was at Kroger the other day, they were (and still are) on sale for $1 each. I tried them, and they are amazing. I had one for breakfast on Friday and didn't get hungry all morning. Usually when I have any kind of bar like that for breakfast, I start getting hungry mid-morning, but not with these. And they have amazing flavors. I highly recommend checking them out!
Also, we have euchre tournaments for fundraisers for our Relay for Life team. The team provides a meal, and I decided to make a recipe I found on Pinterest for Apple Pineapple Crisp. It fit my diet, my niece's no-sugar diet, a friend's gluten-free diet, plus anyone with diabetes or on Weight Watchers. My niece included the recipe on her blog with the adaptations I made. So I'll just refer you to her blog:
http://spicingupmylife.blogspot.com/
(I think her recipe for Mexican Stuffed Shells sounds amazing, too!)
Well, here's to another week of healthy eating and exercise!

Here we go!

Well, my ramped up efforts have paid off. I lost eight pounds in the past two weeks! Other than a 700-calorie splurge involving some buffalo wings,I've really been watching it. (And even then, I stayed under my daily calorie allotment.) With the beautiful weather we've been having, I've spent a little more time walking outside rather than going to the gym, but either way, I'm really trying to move more, too. I hope this soon pays off with lower blood sugar, but I know that's a process and will involve a lot more weight loss and exercise. I'm excited!

It seems like I keep losing and finding these same pounds that I've taken off. I'll be super-happy to lose another five pounds. That will put me under one of those numbers I've set my sights on for quite awhile that I've struggled to slip below. Overall, I can't complain. I'm about 20 pounds lighter than I was a year ago at this time. I'm definitely headed in the right direction, and once I break that number I'm trying to dip below, I'm never going back. It's going to be down, down, down from here on out!

OK, I'll admit it. Yes, the cake looked good this weekend, but really, it wasn't TOO much of a temptation. I didn't eat out much at all this weekend--in fact, come to think of it, I don't think I ate out at all. Every meal was at home or at my sister's, so I'm sure that helps a lot, too. And today, I made some good choices at Qdoba for lunch, so it's all good.

I'm out to win this battle, once and for all!!!

A fundraiser, fajitas and a Skinny Piggy

I've had such a good weekend! I'm super-excited because my Relay for Life team held a Pampered Chef fundraiser on Saturday and made $566 for the American Cancer Society. Along with raising money for a great cause (both of my sisters are cancer survivors, so this is a cause near and dear to my heart), but I got to enjoy some time with some many people who also are very near and dear to my heart. A fun way to raise funds!!!

The party even kept me in tune with my diet. The consultant made some awesome fajitas that were made in a baker--all healthy ingredients, nothing fried or sauteed or anything like that. It all went into the microwave and was FABULOUS!!!

I love Mexican food and my family has discovered a restaurant that is inexpensive both financially and in terms of calories. The Villas (for local people, it's right across from Taco Bell) has the most wonderful tacos for just 99 cents each. These are amazing --you can get chicken, pork, or ground beef ones. They come with lettuce, tomato, and onion. There's no cheese, but they are so extraordinarily good that I don't even miss it! Who knew??? Two pork or chicken tacos with no cheese are 340 calories. I've been doing some reading and learned that soft corn tortillas are better for you than the flour ones, and you can choose either one at this place. We went to The Villas for lunch today, and I'm happy to say it was busy. It's the fourth time I've gone there and the first time it's been busy, so I think the word is getting out. They also have wonderful tamales--the kind in the corn husk--that are also 99 cents each and about the same number of calories. So check this place out. Don't worry if you don't see this fabulous deal on the menu...just ask them about it. If you dine in, they bring chips and salsa to the table--chips are 120 calories for 10 chips and the salsa is basically "free" when it comes to calories. I count the chips so I'm sure to not overeat them--if you count them out ahead of time, it's really quite an impressive amount. Enjoy!

This afternoon, I went to the Hallmark store. I had received a coupon for 30 percent off anything in the store so thought I'd take a look around. i am sooo excited with what I found. It's a skinny piggy bank. Yeah, no kidding! The pig is thin instead of rounded and it acutally says Skinny Piggy on the side. I decided what I'm going to do is put in $1 for every pound I lose and add another $1 every time I work out. When I reach my goal, I'll have some made money to put toward a vacation or something special that I want. I am sooo excited about my skinny pig!

This morning, I read my Made to Crave devotion and really appreciated the message. It was about a temptation that the author Lysa TerKeurst had when she was in high school. She wans't a Christian at the time, but she distinctly remembers God speaking to her, telling her she was made for more than this. She compared that to those of us struggling with our weight...and food. We are made for more this! How true! And we weren't made to fail. We were made to succeed with God by our side. We were made not to worry about food or to let food be our temptation. We are made to enjoy food, yes, but in moderation. We are made to be healthy and happy and to fulfill God's plan.

I am so pumped right now! I just finished a completely healthy dinner, I've gone grocery shopping and have a fridge full of healthy foods, and I feel filled with inspiration from my book, motivation from my Skinny Piggy, and an incredible feeling that I am so very loved by God.

It just struck me, the Footsteps story. God may have to carry me from time to time, but at the same time, it's time for me to make sure I get all my steps in! Here's to a new week!

Stepping it up

In case you didn't read last night's blog, I am on the brink of having to start using insulin for diabetes. I learned this at the doctor yesterday. Even though I knew my numbers had been up last time I went there, I was in denial. I had a blood test yesterday, and hopefully the numbers will be better, but whether they are or not, this has been enough of a scare that I am approaching my eating and exercise lifestyle with renewed vigor.

So last night, as I was trying to process all of this, I hunkered down in my house and just became a couch potato. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to think about it. I played Facebook games and read the newspaper while watching reruns of Big Bang Theory and later, American Idol. It was great to get my mind off things, but then when I went to bed, it took me awhile to get to sleep because my mind still needed to work out everything. I had a conversation with God, and I know He is there for me as long as I let Him in. I know this can be a turning point for me to a healthier life, but last night, it just felt a little bit like the end of the world as I know it.

So I let myself cry a little and feel sorry for myself for only a little while. Before I went to sleep, I had gone through the full range of emotions that comes from knowing you are at a crossroads where you have to choose whether you are going to help yourself or let yourself continue to go in a downward spiral. There is far too much of life that I want to experience. I am not going to let food and balking at doing less than an hour of exercise prevent me from leading a full life. After a good, strong pep talk, I was able tof all asleep and woke up this morning with a good outlook.

I know that going out to eat frequently has undoubtedly added to my weight issues, but at the same time, it's a very important part of my social life that is important to me. So, I really need to work on finding the right foods when I go out and be even more conscientious about it. I found this website, which lists several chain restaurants in the Peoria area with the nutritional value for the healthier choices. This will be a good start. I think I need to start a folder with menus from these restaurants and others so that when I'm out and about, I can make the right choices.

Here's the website: http://www.healthydiningfinder.com/SearchList.aspx?Code=PEORIA,%20ILLINOIS&&Miles=10

I will say this, I didn't give a second thought to getting up and working out this morning. So often, I think, "ugh!", even though I go ahead and do it. Today, I didn't think about how much I wanted to do it. I just did it.

One of the others working out at the gym finished before me and made the comment as she's leaving, "I'm so glad when that's done." That's exactly how I feel. I don't think I'll ever like working out, but I do like how it impacts my health. And that's what I need to concentrate on. I need to not look at the drudgery of working out. I need to look at the sense of accomplishment once it's done.

And the best bonus is I get to work out with my very dear friend Lynn. She is such a wonderful support and makes getting up in the morning well worth it.

Whoa!

Well, I got a wake-up call today. I went to the doctor and he used the "i" word: insulin. My numbers were up last time I had a blood test, and I had another blood test today. Hopefully those numbers will be better than last time. I have been eating better and exercising more, but I told my doctor that before we go down the "i" route, I want to put more effort into eating right and exercising more.
My Mom takes insulin for her diabetes, and I feel it is a major major step that I don't want to take...at least I want to delay it as long as I can. Good thing I made that resolution about no desserts this year. That should help my blood sugar numbers, I'd think.
I told Andy about it, and he has suggested that I read about using apple cider vinegar to reduce my blood sugar. I went online and read some about it, and it sounds like it's pretty effective. It can't hurt, right? Though Andy and a lot of other people online say it tastes nasty. Still, that's a small price to pay if it keeps me from having to go on insulin. I think I have some in my cupboard...if not, a trip to the grocery store is in order.
Lucky for me, I have a pot of vegetable soup waiting for me at home so I don't need to put a lot of thought into what I can have for dinner tonight. (And yes, I splurged at lunch with a burger and onion rings from the Spotted Cow and a few minutes ago, I broke my resolution and went to Sweet CeCe's with some co-workers for one last splurge of frozen yogurt--non-fat.) Now I need to get super-serious.
I'm sure they'll call me in a day or two with the results of my blood test, but I'm not waiting to hear back. The diet starts with dinner tonight. I'll be reading all I can get my hands on about blood sugar reducing foods...and I already know that exercise is one of the quickest ways to lower blood sugar.
I'm not feeling much "peace" right now...sort of a sickening, churning feeling. So I'm going to need to have some devotion time tonight and get in touch with my spiritual side, too. I'm so glad I don't have plans for tonight. I think it's going to be a good time to get in the right mindset, fight off anything negative I'm feeling right now, and get down to business.
Suddenly, this is more than something I want to do. The abstract "doing it for my health" thing is gone and now it's real. Now it's something I need to do.

Gaining peace

Sorry I haven't been too good about posting lately. I stayed in over my lunch hour and just finished a nice salad. Between that and a pop-in visit from Jordan, one of my favorite students here at Bradley, I am motivated to check in here in again. Jordan tells me he has lost 30 lbs. since August. How cool is that?
I am so proud of him. He's one of those rare college students who weighs less now than when he came in as a freshman. He still wants to lose a few more pounds, but he looks wonderful. Of course, he always has!
I haven't gotten on the scale lately. It scares me to get on there because if I don't lose as much weight as I think I should, I get discouraged. So I'm better off staying away from the scales. Besides, I wasn't feeling the best for a few days last week and didn't get to work out like I normally do. I was back at it this morning, though. So between working out and staying in and eating a salad, I'm feeling really good about my efforts!
Oh, and yesterday, we were celebrating a birthday in the family and my sister made one of the recipes my niece Laura has tried as part of her anti-inflammatory diet. She is trying this new eating lifestyle in an attempt to beat migraines. You can find her blog at spicingupmylife.blogspot.com. Her blog includes recipes...we had the Southwest Chicken Tostadas, only we had flour tortillas (she had a whole wheat tortilla) and made them into tacos. Delicious, and guilt-free! Look it up and try it. I especially like the lime in the recipe...and my sister added corn to the recipe, too.
With Lent approaching, I am committed to being more faithful in my quest for inspiration by thinking and studying and writing about peace. Yesterday in Sunday School, we began a Lenten study. We watched a 10-minute video, then had a discussion. In the video, Adam Hamilton, the leader, talked about Luke 23:34 where Jesus is on the cross and says, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
Adam makes the observation that "them" refers not only to the people there that day who wanted him crucified, but he was referring to all of us. He said that God's forgiveness, His love, was there waiting for us before we were even born. He drew an analogy saying it's like Christmas, when you have gifts under the tree. The gifts have been bought and are ready to be opened, but it's not until you open them on Christmas that you use them.
I especially am encouraged at the thought that people I know who do not believe in God also have their unwrapped gifts of love and forgiveness waiting for them. Talk about a giving tree! God keeps giving us more and more gifts every day. I found such peace in all of this. Knowing that God loves me this much, that he has even more unwrapped gifts waiting for me--some of them waiting for me as I follow Him more diligently and lose weight and get to do more of what He has planned for me--gives me such a thrill and a feeling of true peace.
As I've said before, this is the first time I've brought prayer and meditation into my weight loss journey. Wow, what a difference it makes. Today, I think about Jesus on the cross and know that essentially He was saying, "Father, forgive Nancy for she knows not what she is doing." This gives such an overwhelming peace. I mean, I've been foolish to not watch what I ate more closely all of these previous years. Yes, I've gone on diets and I've lost weight, but then, I've gained it all back and more. I didn't know how foolish I was being. I didn't think about consequences...I was thinking in the moment.
One dessert won't hurt me. A second helping won't hurt me. Now here I am, definitely slowed down by my weight and concerned that it could affect my health more than it already has. I was foolish, but I am at peace knowing that God is ready to help me, ready to hand me one more gift and then another if I will only follow Him...and if I do slip, He'll be there with a helping hand to lift me back up.
Now knowing that is true peace of mind!

Commitment

Source: sparkpeople.com via SparkPeople on Pinterest

I joined Spark People (a very cool website) a couple weeks ago, and while I don't fully utilize it, I really like some of the emails I receive. I follow them on Pinterest, too, and when I saw this motivational quote, I knew I needed to blog about it.

The words are so true about so many things, including dieting/choosing a healthy lifestyle. That "no excuses" kind of commitment can be tough when it comes to dieting--it's easy to just say, "Oh, the cookie's broken...no calories, right?" or "I'm tired (or busy, or don't feel like it, or fill in the blank); I don't think I'll work out today."

Believe me, I know. I've made those excuses, those rationalizations. But you know what? Without that full-on commitment, you also don't have full-on results. Sure, sometimes you can slip by and maybe still lose a little weight one week, but it eventually catches up with you.


Commitment is what led me to change my time for working out. If you had told me a year ago that I'd be getting up at 5:45 to work out, I would have said you were crazy. I HATE exercise and thinking about getting up early to do it was out of the question. I love to sleep.

But the thing is, my desire to lose weight and get healthy is more than a wish. It's a commitment, and I know exercise is an important part of the "healthy" equation. I also know that if I'm really going to commit to exercise on a regular basis, I either need to drop my social life and work out in the evenings or get up early and work out. (An added benefit is that I now work out with my friend, Lynn, so I have the added bonus of some socializing during those early morning workouts.)

It's not unusual for me to have plans two, three, or four weeknights in a week, and I'm a person who MUST have her social life. I'm the extrovert in those Meyers-Briggs tests who is energized from being around people. I think I would shrivel up into a heap of sadness if I gave up my time with friends and family to exercise. So what I've done in the past was exercise when I had no other plans. I was "interested."

Another thing I've noticed is that when I'm committed and working out every day, it just becomes part of my schedule and I don't really think about whether or not I want to exercise. I just do it. It becomes part of my morning schedule, like brushing my teeth or taking a shower. I've also noticed that if for some reason, I don't work out one morning, it's so easy to lose the commitment and not work out the next morning. I can't do that; it's what has led to roller coaster diets in the past.

I'm not falling into that rut this time. I can see how being overweight is affecting me. In the past year, climbing a set of stairs has become more of a challenge, my left knee will start to hurt if I walk too much--things like that, which, even though I've had weight issues my entire life, never bothered me before. I feel like I'm at a crossroads. It's time for me to get serious about this before things get serious in a different way. Right now, I can still commit to being healthy and do everything in my power to eat healthy and work out. If I start having trouble getting around, I know I will find myself at a whole other domino-effect level where I have trouble working out, which leads to gaining weight, which leads to more trouble working out, etc. I don't want to go down that path, and right now, I can still choose the healthy pat. Otherwise, I'm going to be aging before I should, with health problems galore, unable to get out and about like I'm accustomed to doing. I don't want to be that person. I want to be a vital, healthy woman who can go do all the things I want to do without hesitation.

So back to early morning workouts. The way I look at it, I am committed to putting my health first. So if exercise is an important part of that equation, why not make it the first thing I do each day? It's the one way I make it a no excuses commitment, and it has the added benefit of setting the tone for the day. It's so easy for me to slip in my eating habits if my exercise habits are slipping, too. And then, pretty soon, there I am, letting all sensibility about my health get tossed aside and indulging every time the opportunity comes up.

Speaking of indulging, I really believe that by keeping my resolution of no desserts in 2012, I will learn to be sensible about those indulgences. I will reserve those splurges for the really special treats that I truly will enjoy. I can't tell you how much I appreciate something my co-worker, Erin, said the other day. We were having an office celebration and there was this awesome looking chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and chopped Snickers on top. I told Erin after the party that the cake had been a big temptation for me. She told me it really wasn't as good as it looked, and what a difference that made. The leftovers sitting there right outside my office door lost their appeal. I know what she means. How often have you had some sweet treat that looks oh so good, but in reality, just doesn't taste THAT great. I mean, I would still eat it, and yes, it was fine, but it wasn't awesome. I'm holding out for the awesome stuff from now on, I mean--once 2012 is over, and if it doesn't taste as good as it looks, I'm not going to eat the whole thing.

That's part of my commitment. When I eat something that isn't healthy, I want to stop and assess, not just go ahead and eat it. If it isn't absolutely marvelous and also isn't absolutely healthy, I am going to stop eating it. Thin people do it all the time. It's time for me to do the same thing!

I just read this rambling stream of consciousness. I kind of went all over the place here, but these are the things I'm thinking today and after all, that's what blogging is all about, right? I know fellow dieters will understand, and hopefully, others will find motivation in what I've written.

A spiritual workout

I did a Bible search online for the word "peace" and randomly chose a passage for inspiration. This comes from Daniel 10:19: "Peace be with you. Take courage and be courageous!"

I had to smile when I realized how much this answers the dilemma I told you about in my last blog entry. In that entry, I revealed how scary it is to think about being thin. There's a certain amount of comfort in being heavier...and I guess, since I've had a weight problem pretty much my entire life, there's comfort in the "known" of being overweight.

I love how God speaks whenever you open a Bible and how, depending on where you are in your life, the same passage can hold so many different meanings. I'm sure many people have seen those words and taken comfort, just as I am know.

"Peace be with you." PEACE--it's such an awesome gift. I feel like God is telling me, "Stop worrying, Nancy. The future is always uncertain. But you need to do what you can to make it the best it can be. You need to do it for your health and for your happiness."

The two go hand in hand, and I know that. If you don't have your health, it impairs every aspect of your life. Up to now, my weight hasn't slowed me down all that much, but even in the last year, I've noticed a big difference. I know I need to do this, and I need to do it now before my body really starts to fall apart.

"Take courage and be courageous." I feel like God is acknowledging these fears I have, but He also knows I can do it. I just have to shed those fears along with the pounds and be all that I can be. Being courageous is so very attainable through God.

I need to deeply breathe in the love of the Lord and allow Him to fill me with courage. I know that with God, I am all-powerful in overcoming any temptations, any moments of lazinsss when I don't want to work out...all of that. With peace comes courage and vice versa, with courage comes peace.

I know with every ounce of my being that with God as my coach, I can overcome this overweight state and look and feel the way God intends for me. I also know that God will be my protector when I'm thinner, just as much as He is now. I just need to "work out" in the form of devotions and prayer along with my physical workouts. Peace and courage are there for us.

We just need to step...or jog, or swim, or run...in faith.

Praise God. And peace be with you.

Keeping fear at bay

So, I have gotten on Pinterest. Dangerous thing...this could be quite addictive. I ran across an inspirational quote on there that really applies to my weight loss.
It goes something like, "Don't let your fear be bigger than your faith."
I confided in a very good friend of mine that losing weight to a normal size is a bit scary. I have been overweight my entire life, and the thing about that is I have a cocoon around me, and it really is scary shedding that cocoon.
Will people treat me differently? More specifically, will men treat me differently? I haven't been looking to meet someone, figuring if it is meant to be, it will be. And if not, that's OK, too. But if I an thinner, will more guys find me attractive? Will I be able to tell if it's the inner me they like?
I wouldn't be honest with myself if I didn't admit I am feeling some fear.
So this saying really hit home. I need to trust God that Iwill be able to handle whatever comes my way. I need to realize that dealing with that kind of stuff will be far less frightening than dealing with potential health problems.
This is an area where I need to be seeking peace. I need to buff up my faith I this area and not be afraid to reinvent my appearance for the sake of my health and for the sake of whatever God has in store for me.