I couldn't believe my eyes!

I thought I was smiling yesterday. You should see the elation today!!!

I got on the scales today and couldn't believe my eyes. I have lost 9 pounds since Monday!!!! I actually weighed myself, got all excited and told the cat (because there was no one else here to tell), and got back on the scale to make sure I had it right.

Weight seems to pile on quickly for me. I had lost some weight before a trip to Rome a couple of months ago, but then for various reasons, I didn't workout much and ate holiday goodies, and I had gained much of it back in those two months.

But, getting weight off of me is like pulling fresh gum off a boot with all those ridges on the soles. It holds on for dear life and it seems like you can never get rid of all of it.

I have been very true to my New Year's resolutions: two flights of stairs a day and no desserts. Certainly, I am watching what I eat besides that. However, I have not been completely depriving myself. For instance, last night, a friend and I went to Pizza Hut where her daughter works, and I had a personal pan pizza and salad bar. I love Mexican food and went to Qdoba, but instead of ordering the naked queso burrito with my Craft 2 order, I went with the naked fajita burrito. Also, I went to their website and learned that pork is the leanest meat they serve, so I had it in the burrito and in the soft tacos I ordered for my second choice with this meal. I must say, the pork makes the tacos messier, but it's very good! And, like I said in yesterday's blog, I went with a muffin-like bread for the birthday treat and avoided the cookies and candy that was sitting there. Let me tell you, that was a true test of my willpower there!!!

But you know, today, looking at the scales and weighing 9 pounds lighter, those buckeyes that looked so good yesterday aren't nearly as tempting today. I think the more I resist things like that, the easier it will become. Plus, I will allow myself to have an occasional snack: some popcorn, etc., and I'm trying to stock up on snacky-type fruits and vegetables like cherry tomatoes and bananas and I'll be going to Kroger this weekend to pick up some packages of $1 blackberries, too!

Anyway, I had to share my news. Oh, and of course, I am thanking God. He is my strength, and I need Him--clearly, I haven't been able to do it on my own.

Smiling

So, right outside my office, there is a huge tray of cookies, oreo balls, buckeyes (peanut butter and chocolate are my personal favorite), and all sorts of other goodies. I have resolved to have no desserts in 2012, and wow, is this a test of my willpower! The cookies are there as birthday treats for a co-worker, and I brought in some apple bread that maybe is a fringe dessert, but I'm focusing on the bread part and had a piece. I've decided that when I get a craving for chocolate, I can have a granola bar that has chocolate in it. I just am not going to go with the decadent, super-sugary desserts. The apple bread is about the same as a muffin, right? And a muffin is a breakfast food, not dessert, right?

Right?

I know the key is moderation, and I figure if I can resist desserts for a year, then I will approach them with more moderation in the future. I'll realize I can do without them just fine, and I certainly won't eat them spur-of-the-moment. It's only January 6, and I'm already oogling those buckeyes, but you know what, this doesn't mean I'll never have food like this. And, if I can get my body to a healthier weight, I'll be around a lot longer to enjoy little nibbles here and there.

But for now, I have indulged too much in the past, and it's time to do something about it!

So I'm sitting here over my lunch hour, writing this blog and eating a Lean Cuisine and being good...and I've gotten in my two flights of stairs that is my second New Year's resolution, too.

And now, for my reflections on peace. Today, I found a quotation from Mother Teresa:
Peace begins with a smile.

What a wonderful quote to remember. I've always been a "look on the bright side," "glass is half-full, not half-empty" kind of girl. Smiling comes very naturally and easy for me, and I've noticed what a difference it can make to smile at a stranger--the waitress at a restaurant, the cashier at the store, the person walking in the opposite direction on the street. And I just naturally smile when I'm around family, friends, co-workers, etc. I do believe in approaching problems with kindness rather than blaming people or situations, to just in general give people the benefit of the doubt. Those really are ways to smile, to keep a situation peaceful rather than to escalate a situation into something ugly.

So this made me think about how I can smile at God. I think the best way to do that is to always remember to praise Him. It's easy to remember to do that when He has answered our prayers--our friend is released from the hospital, a healthy baby is born, etc. But what about when we're going through difficult times? Or what about remembering to praise God for the everyday things--a warm home, the sunshine, a sleeping baby in a stroller at the mall.

It's when we smile at all of God's blessings that we find peace. When we focus on His goodness, His generosity, His incredible love, we can't help but feel peace in our souls. And when we find God's peace, suddenly those buckeyes outside my office aren't nearly as tempting. I'm doing what God wants me to do.

And I'd like to think He's smiling right now.

Listening for the whispers

I saw something about "peace" today that I really liked: "Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of these things and still feel calm in your heart."

I think this is true in so many aspects of life. It's certainly true in our spiritual journeys. I guess that's the one thing about this past year. I really felt that God was pushing me in a direction I never thought I'd be taking, but through it all, His voice came through loud and clear. When I started doing what He wanted me to do, the sleepless nights stopped, and I had so many whispers from Him that I was doing what He wanted me to do. Yes, there was noise, but there also was this incredible sense of calm.

Now, applying this to my weight loss: OK, so I just got back on to this on Monday, but let me say, I do find that when I'm tempted to absentmindedly reach for something to nibble on, I stop and think, "Now, am I really hungry? Is this what God wants me to do?" And all of a sudden, when I ask for God to step in, He does and somehow I have the strength to resist whatever I was tempted to eat. He helps me realize it's only an hour or so until lunchtime or that my reason for reaching for something to eat has nothing to do with real hunger. I only need to listen for His whispers, His encouragement.

It's only been a few days, but in the past, I have tended not to ask for God's help. I think this isn't a big enough issue for God, that He has better things to tackle than me and my weight problem. But then, I think about being a child of God and that He can count each and every hair on my head. I realize God has a plan for me that I'm not going to be physically able to carry out if I don't let Him help me. This is a partnership, and God's in here, tackling all the big issues and problems of the world, and also having time to help me.

He's that big!

I already knew this and believed it, but I hadn't let myself really fully comprehend it. I have always felt God's presence and love but I have had a hard time allowing myself to pray for myself like this.
Wow, what calm this brings to my heart!

What do you think of my shiny armor?

So, as I said in my last blog, one of the words I'm focusing on in 2012 is "peace." I'm going to read about it, write about it, and work at regaining peace in my life. Last year, I found myself at a crossroads I never thought would happen in my spiritual journey. My faith in God has not faltered at all in this struggle, but I have been hurt by people I thought were my friends in faith.

This past year, I've taken steps to regain that peace that comes that comes from concentrating on my relationship with God, and I have felt His presence and direction every step of the way. Now I feel He wants me to focus on "peace" and feel fully restored once more.

At some point last year, I started following Lysa TerKeurst on Facebook and subscribed to her blog. Her words today really spoke to me. On Facebook, she posted this:

Have you ever struggled with letting a circumstance that came your way recently, suddenly define you? This seems to be a lesson God lets me live over and over. He wants to be my only definition of who I am. I am a child of God, holy and dearly loved. I know this. I teach this. I believe this in the very depths of my soul. Yet, it is so easy for me to slip into redefining myself when situations arise. When hard times come and beat against our stability, we must be determined to hear God’s words and put them into practice. Then nothing can topple our peace, security, or true identity.
I'm not sure who else needed to hear that--- but I know I certainly did.

I, for one, needed that reminder. If we just remember that the only identity that matters is that we are children of God and that we are loved so dearly and fully, then we can put on the full armor of God and repel any hurt, any catty remarks, any gossip, any anything! Like Lysa, I know this and I believe it with every ounce of my being, but because I'm human, I sometimes let those everyday human things put some chinks in my armor.

Today, though, my armor is shiny and like new. (And maybe, if I get everything sorted through, I'll need my armor to be a smaller size. ;-)

Looking ahead at 2012

It's been a few months since I've posted a blog, but I've been giving some serious thought to improving myself lately and for me, writing about it keeps me focused. So, here we go!

In the December issue of "Guideposts," author Debbie Macomber talks about how she chooses one word to focus on each year. Then, she reads Scripture, journals about it, etc. I was inspired by that and thought I wanted to do that for 2012. She talks about how one word usually chooses itself. She sees it repeatedly or it is prominent in her heart...something.

Two words have emerged for me: peace and discipline. I will talk about these words more in upcoming blogs, but when I think of things I could do to improve myself, my health, and my spiritual journey, these are areas I need to focus upon.

Weight loss continues to be a struggle for me. I lost weight earlier this year, but ended the year probably close to where I started--I haven't gotten on the scales for a couple of months. Clearly, self-discipline is an issue for me. And my spiritual journey has found me seeking renewed inner peace. Step by step, bit by bit, I'll talk about these things. For tonight, though, I wish you a very happy and blessed 2012, and may all your resolutions come true!

Working out

Made to Crave

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted a blog on here. My diet has been on my mind but not in my heart for the last month. It's been a very busy time, and first the exercise lagged, and eventually, the diet did, too. I have been meeting once a week with two co-workers, Danise and Jenny. We started the year trying to follow the Daniel Plan, a weight loss program offered through Rick Warren's Saddleback Church. You could join online for free, and we thought this might be a good way to get focused. We found, though, that while this might be a good supplement if you were already in a group at the church, it really wasn't working for us.

A friend of mine knew how hard I've been trying to lose weight and has occasionally sent me Proverbs 31 devotions when they were written by Lysa TerKeurst, who has written "Made to Crave." I forwarded these to Danise and Jenny, and when investigating further, we found there is a six-week Bible study and a book available. We decided we'd each order our own copies so we don't have to try to share a DVD--it's not all that expensive through Amazon.

The goal was for us to watch the DVD and meet tomorrow to discuss it. I finally got to watch the DVD tonight, and I am already quite inspired. On the video, Lynn talks about how this is not a "how to" weight loss program, but a "want to" program. She compared those of us who desire food with the rich man in Matthew 19:16-26 with did not want to give up his wealth for Jesus.

Lynn says something that I could relate to: that when she peeked into the depths of her soul, she realized the one thing she depended on was food before Jesus. Wow. A harsh reality. Too often I turn to food when I'm nervous, upset, bored, etc. I think I deserve to indulge when life throws me a curve, or when I want to celebrate, but what I really deserve rather than food, is to turn to Jesus.

I realized as I started to fill out the participant's guide that food is weighing me down spiritually. I think because you can physically see, taste, feel food, and there is immediate gratification in eating it, I turn to it first. Not that I don't turn to Jesus. Don't get me wrong. He is the center of my life.

If anything, sometimes I feel like it's not right of me to pray for Jesus' help as I struggle with my weight--that I'm not significant enough, or that at least my struggle with weight isn't significant enough. But my eyes were opened tonight.

The food is what I can physically see. But the bottom line is that the food is getting in the way when I let it comfort me instead of Jesus comforting me.

In the video, Lynn said that we will have a word to focus on each week. This week's word is "empowered." It comes down to making healthy choices because we want to make them. So, on with the "want to" diet.

I pray that this study will help me grow in my relationship with God as I slim down!