Working out

Made to Crave

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted a blog on here. My diet has been on my mind but not in my heart for the last month. It's been a very busy time, and first the exercise lagged, and eventually, the diet did, too. I have been meeting once a week with two co-workers, Danise and Jenny. We started the year trying to follow the Daniel Plan, a weight loss program offered through Rick Warren's Saddleback Church. You could join online for free, and we thought this might be a good way to get focused. We found, though, that while this might be a good supplement if you were already in a group at the church, it really wasn't working for us.

A friend of mine knew how hard I've been trying to lose weight and has occasionally sent me Proverbs 31 devotions when they were written by Lysa TerKeurst, who has written "Made to Crave." I forwarded these to Danise and Jenny, and when investigating further, we found there is a six-week Bible study and a book available. We decided we'd each order our own copies so we don't have to try to share a DVD--it's not all that expensive through Amazon.

The goal was for us to watch the DVD and meet tomorrow to discuss it. I finally got to watch the DVD tonight, and I am already quite inspired. On the video, Lynn talks about how this is not a "how to" weight loss program, but a "want to" program. She compared those of us who desire food with the rich man in Matthew 19:16-26 with did not want to give up his wealth for Jesus.

Lynn says something that I could relate to: that when she peeked into the depths of her soul, she realized the one thing she depended on was food before Jesus. Wow. A harsh reality. Too often I turn to food when I'm nervous, upset, bored, etc. I think I deserve to indulge when life throws me a curve, or when I want to celebrate, but what I really deserve rather than food, is to turn to Jesus.

I realized as I started to fill out the participant's guide that food is weighing me down spiritually. I think because you can physically see, taste, feel food, and there is immediate gratification in eating it, I turn to it first. Not that I don't turn to Jesus. Don't get me wrong. He is the center of my life.

If anything, sometimes I feel like it's not right of me to pray for Jesus' help as I struggle with my weight--that I'm not significant enough, or that at least my struggle with weight isn't significant enough. But my eyes were opened tonight.

The food is what I can physically see. But the bottom line is that the food is getting in the way when I let it comfort me instead of Jesus comforting me.

In the video, Lynn said that we will have a word to focus on each week. This week's word is "empowered." It comes down to making healthy choices because we want to make them. So, on with the "want to" diet.

I pray that this study will help me grow in my relationship with God as I slim down!

On track

I just wanted to check in and say that tracking what I'm eating seems to really help me focus. I'm also noticing when I feel full, when I want to eat just because I want to eat something, and when I am hungry. I got on the scales this morning and had lost some. Now I just want to make sure the weight loss continues.

I'm going to go to a Mexican restaurant tonight, which is my favorite kind of food. I want to stay on track, so I Googled around to find out what would be the best choices there. When I'm dieting, I tend to go for chicken fajitas, but I wanted to see what other entrees might be good. Arroz con pollo also is considered a good choice--I might try that tonight; it's one of my son's favorites and it always looks good, but I never get it for some reason.

One of the things I saw was that chicken with mole sauce also is a good choice. I've never tried mole sauce, as many times as I've gone Mexican. I guess there are so many great foods that I know about that I tend to back away from the unknown. I may branch out and try that sometime.

But not tonight.

I also read that one person suggests asking for a soft taco shell instead of the chips, then puts salsa on it and wraps it up. Really, though, I looked up tortilla chips on my Weight Watchers' e-tools and found that 12 chips are four points (salsa is free.) I think six chips for two points might be the trick--just enough to feel like I got to indulge without going overboard.

Another hint was to request pinto beans instead of refried beans. Black beans are even better, but I don't think you can always get them out. I knew refried beans can't be that good for me, but I never had thought about asking for pinto beans.

Oh, another thing: always order soft tacos rather than crunchy ones, because crunchy ones have been fried. One source suggests requesting soft corn tortillas instead of flour ones, too, but I'll have to see about that. I'm thinking that if I get the arroz con pollo, I won't even be tempted to eat any of the tortillas.

I'm finding it helps to have a plan before I go to a restaurant. Now I'm ready!

What?

Wow! I haven't blogged in more than a month? I can't believe time has passed so quickly. I had been thinking that everything was going well. I've been making good choices when going out to eat, I've been working out...I've just been avoiding the scale. It seems like if I weigh in and don't see enough of a loss, I get discouraged. So I try to not weigh in too often.

But then, I weighed in Thursday, and I had GAINED three pounds. I was so frustrated. I mean, I have been working hard at this. I have to admit, I did some emotional eating--had some pizza, some cookies, some things I shouldn't have, after that. Yesterday, I met with Matt, my personal trainer, and he doesn't get it, either. He was encouraging though, and told me to stick with it, that eventually, if I'm doing everything right, it will pay off. He seemed to be trying to figure out waht he's doing wrong, but I know it's not him. He's been great.

I thought and thought and thought about this. I'm trying to figure out what I can do differently.

Finally, I figured out something I could do. I haven't been tracking everything I eat and when I exercise, so that's my next plan of action. Maybe if I still don't lose, I can look at see where I'm going wrong. But hopefully, I'll discover if I'm doing somethign wrong along the way and fix it right away.

I can't let this get me down. If I do, another year will pass by and I'll be as heavy as ever. I'm tired of that. I'm tired of literally feeling myself slow down. I am tired of being tired. I'm tired of being fat. I want to be more active and have an overall better quality of life. I want to feel pretty. I want to feel good!

But I have to do more than want it. I have to really work at this. I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up.

That trip to Rome is still coming up this fall, and I want to be fully enjoy it!

Snowed in

Well, we've certainly had some interesting weather here. We got about 15 inches of snow and even had thunder and lightning going on along with the snowing. Yesterday was quite a day, and even though getting some exercise shoveling may have been good for me, I'm very thankful that my brother-in-law came over with his snowblower to dig me out.
I've been doing very well with eating lately, but I haven't gotten too much exercise. You see, I've been battling a cold for more than a week now. Ever since I got pneumonia a few years ago...and now again in October 2009...I have been especially susceptible to bronchial issues. A slight cold quickly landed in my lungs, so I haven't been able to exercise. When I do try, I just start coughing.
Despite the lack of exercise, I weighed myself the other day and had lost another 5 lbs., bringing my total to 12 lbs. for January! I hope I can get to the gym before too long so I can keep that pace for February.
I feel fortunate to have snow days this week--starting at noon yesterday, plus today and tomorrow. I hope I can recover from this lung thing I have going on and get back to a full-fledged weight loss effort. I am coughing a lot less--now I just need it to stop completely!
I feel fortunate that I didn't have to make the mad rush to the grocery story before the storm. I had gone grocery shopping a few days ago and had plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, milk, etc. In fact, I've enjoyed some tasty omelets and Crock Pot recipes.
On Monday, I had lunch with a couple of co-workers who also want to lose weight. We decided to meet once a week as a support group for each other. I think that's going to help us stay on track and gives us someone to talk to when tempted or when we have a victory. We talked about how it's important to not only track what we eat, but also to write down when we do things like resist a candy bar or work out. I think if we can celebrate the small victories along the way and feel better and better about ourselves, it's going to help us stay motivated.
With that in mind, I can't tell you how tempted I was to make a batch of brownies when I've been snowed in. Instead, I ate some grapes. A victory, for sure!

Self-improving

I'm still hanging in there with my diet and exercise. I brought in a bag of baby carrots today, and you'd think they were a bag of potato chips the way I've been snacking on them! I finally stopped when I realized that I'm really full!
I haven't weighed myself in about a week. I kept getting on the scales and weighing the same, even though I knew I'd been doing everything I should. I decided to focus on what I'm doing, not what I'm weighing. If I lead a healthy lifestyle, then losing weight will be a side effect. I need to focus on making the right choices and changing my lifestyle. That's what's critical, not what the scales say I weigh!
Keeping a positive attitude is so key to all of this. I was sick last weekend, and I ate a couple things that had been left from the holidays that I probably shouldn't have. On the other hand, I ate a lot of the right things: pears and bananas, broccoli, etc. The thing is, I like all these healthy things. It just means I need to go to the store more often to buy fresh produce.
Ever since my divorce, which happened at the same time my son went away to college, I go crazy in the grocery store and think, "I could make this," and "I can make that." In reality, when you're cooking for one, you just don't do it. I need to concentrate more on the fresh produce, the healthy snacks I can fix easily, because frankly, I don't want to go to a bunch of work for just me.
I also have started a little bit more cooking, then freezing foods like spaghetti sauce and chili. It's so nice knowing I have something I just have to heat up.
Most of all, I need to change my mindset. A trip to the grocery store has been a depressing reminder that I'm alone now. My focus now is to change my mindset and think of a trip to the grocery store as my chance to treat myself. I absolutely love the pears I've been getting lately, and I always enjoy bananas etc. I want to start enjoying a trip to the grocery store like I used to. Only this time, instead of thinking of things I can treat my family with, I am going to focus on me.
What is a treat for me? What's both easy and healthy that I'll enjoy preparing? Essentially, what foods can I eat that will make me not only feel good, but feel good about myself? I'm so glad fruits are "free" on Weight Watchers now. I can honestly say fruit is a fruit for me. I can't say the same for vegetables. I like them fine as part of a meal, or like these carrots I've been snacking on. But they're not a treat like fruit it.
I walked with a friend over the lunch hour today, and we were talking about how when you do one thing right, like exercise, then it makes you want to do other things right, like food choices. Somehow, these all work hand in hand. My friend wondered if it's because when you go to eat an M&M, you think about how much you'd have to do to work off just one M&M.
That's probably the case for some. But I think for me, exercising gives me a sense of accomplishment. It's not something I really like to do. I am doing it only because I know it's what I should do.
When I feel disciplined about exercise, then I feel more disciplined about food. It raises my self esteem. I don't turn to food for comfort. I think of it more as what fuel am I going to put into my body? That's very different from grabbing some chocolate because that will make me feel better for a few moments.
Of course, I want food to taste good. I think it's very important that we aren't choking down something we don't like, but rather savoring our food. I'm lucky. I really do enjoy fruits and vegetables. I just often haven't taken the time to go to the store, buy them, bring them home, and prepare them so they're easy to grab.
The thing is, I'm worth it! My health is worth it. I want to be around for many years to come, and I want to be able to enjoy life fully, just as I have up to now. I see myself slowing down, getting tired, not wanting to climb those steps, and I don't like it!
The thing is, I know that if I don't do something about my weight, I'm going to be having bad knees or hips or other things that make it even more difficult to lose weight. So before things go too far, it's time to stop, assess where I am, and start treating my body right.
I see many areas in my life where I need improvement. If I feel a sense of accomplishment with living a healthy lifestyle, I know I'll be ready to do other things to improve myself.
Maybe someday, I'll be writing self-improvement books!

Sidelined for a couple days

I've been sick the past several days so haven't really felt up to posting...or much of anything, really. So I haven't been exercising and I've been foraging in the house for food. I've mostly eaten well, though there were these white cheddar cheese balls that I couldn't resist. All in all, though, I've done OK. I've eaten things like whole wheat pasta with spaghetti sauce and turkey meatballs, chicken, and other leftovers. I've finished off the bananas I have in the house and have one pear left. (The pears are amazing!) Even though I've had a bad stomachache Friday and Saturday, I never got sick to my stomach nor did I lose my appetite. I have no clue what I've had, but today has been a bit better. I've just been extremely tired. So, I haven't worked out for the last few days.
I still haven't lost my motivation, thoiugh. I plan to go back to work tomorrow, and after work, if I do nothing else, I will at least "get back on track" and walk. Hopefully. I'll feel good enough to do more than that, too. I am NOT going to let this get me down.
So, tomorrow after work, I'll be exercising and then going to the store to stock up on everything I need to stay on track with my diet.

Glad I did it

Well, going ahead and exercising for those 30 minutes or so yesterday really paid off. It's because I made myself stick with it at the gym, I also did better with eating. I'm on a Relay for Life team that hosted a euchre tournament yesterday. We had lots of food there, but I really filled my plate up with fruits and vegetables (and a couple deviled eggs) and avoided all the sweets there. My Mom brought these bars that are one of my favorites and she doesn't make them very often, so I went ahead and had a small piece. But I stayed away from all the cookies, brownies, Rice Krispie treats, candy, and all that stuff. If I hadn't been serious about sticking with it and going to the gym for awhile, I know I would have been more tempted by all those goodies.

I joined Weight Watchers at work on Thursday but didn't stay for th emeeting because a group of us were going to lunch to celebrate a birthday. Instead, I told the leader I'd come to a meeting today and stay to learn about their new program. I think I'm really going to like the program because you can have unlimited fruit now. I really love fruit, and if I know I can go ahead and have a piece of fruit guilt-free whenever I want a snack, I'll do just fine. In fact, I went t the grocery store this afternoon and stocked up with pears, nectarines, and bananas, as well as cucumbers, butter lettuce (my favorite), baby carrots. I also stocked up on those cocoal roasted almonds I mentioned earlier this week--I love those things and they're a great way to satisfy my chocolate craving and add some protein, too. I think i've had a 100-calorie pack every day this week. Now that I can calculate the points for them, I'll let you know what they are. But I really, really recommend them--it feels like I'm eating candy without the guilt! I like that they're in 100 calorie packs, too, so I'm not tempted to fudge a little on how many I have.

Someone had a great idea in the meeting this morning. They said that when they fix oatmeal in the morning, they add blueberries and the oil you're supposed to have every day with Weight Watchers. She says it reminds her of a blueberry cobbler. I'm going to have to try that one--though I didn't buky any blueberries today.

After going to Weight Watchers, I met Matt at the Markin Center. I feel like I had a really great workout. The last couple of times, he's had me get on the treadmill because that way I can get a better workout by putting the treadmill on an incline, rather than the flat track. I figure that will be good when I'm in Rome walking up hills, too. I'll be back to work out on my own tomorrow.

I'm so thrilled with the way things are going. I'm feeling like I have more energy and I just plain feel good about myself. And of course, this makes me all the more motivated to stick with it. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but like Tammi, the Weight Watchers leader said, even little amounts of weight loss add up. Tammi said that studies have shown that even a 5 percent weight loss can result in lower blood pressure, more mobility, and other positive results.

I'll be excited about every 5 percent, every 5 pounds, and you know, I'm going to be excited about a .5-pound loss, too. After all, a half pound is two sticks of butter!

My biggest enemy

I had a major victory (for me) at lunch today. I had planned to try this exercise class that's offered over the lunch hour. I've been wanting to go all week, but it's been exceptionally busy and I just hadn't made it. Today, I got away a little late, and then I needed to make a quick run to the Money Center before going to the rec center. There was a HUGE line at the Money Center, so as I'm sitting in line, I'm thinking I might as well skip doing any sort of workout today. I'm running late.
Then I had a good talking with myself. I asked myself if I am really serious this time about losing weight. Because that means commitment. That means that if things don't go the way you expect, you make adjustments, do the best you can, and keep working at it. It means not getting discouraged by ANYTHING.
So I convinced myself that the least I could do, even though I had a bite out of my lunch hour, was to walk around the track for 10 minutes. It took some strong and stern convincing, but I told myself this isn't about immediate gratification. It's not about "spoiling" myself by giving myself an "out" from getting some exercise in, even if it's just a little bit.
So I dragged myself upstairs to the track and made my first lap around. Hey, this wasn't too bad. I did another, and another, and another...Pretty soon, I decided not to stop at 10 minutes--I walked 20 minutes. I started toward the stairs, but before I got there, I took a detour and went to the arm cycle, which Matt has told me is a great cardio workout. I did it for 8 minutes, progressively adding more resistance and then cycling backwards.
And THEN I went back to work.
Thirty minutes isn't as much as I would have liked, but it's a whole lot more than I was going to do for awhile. And I know those 30 minutes of exercise matter, not only physically but mentally. I'll eat better. I already feel better. And the whole thing is a victory over my biggest enemy: myself.

Lunch-time post

I decided to stay in over lunch today. It's been snowing, and I just don't want to deal with it. So, while I'm munching on my sliced green peppers and cucumbers, I thought I'd post another blog.
Things are going well. We're on deadline here at work, so I didn't get to make it to the exercise class yesterday. However, I feel like I did well yesterday. I ate healthy foods, and even when I went to a friend's house for a euchre night, I snacked in moderation. The same goes for today.
I'm supposed to work out with my personal trainer today, but if we get a bunch of snow, I'll be rethinking that. Whether I go to the gym or home, though, I WILL work out. I have exercise videos and an exercise bike and absolutely no reason to not work out at home. We'll see how things go.
By the way, for the Peoria area people reading the blog, check out Aldi's. They have great pears, four for 99 cents, and they have 100-calorie packs of almonds, a box of seven for $1.99. I bought some cocoa roasted ones--no added calories or sugar, but wow are they fantastic!
When I told my trainer I was eating oatmeal for breakfast, he told me I should try to add some protein. I asked if he meant an egg...not at all my favorite...but he suggested almonds. These almonds not only help me get the protein I need but also satisfy the chocoholic in me. I definitely recommend them!
A friend at work suggested a few sites I might want to check out. Earlier in my lunch hour, I went to this one: http://skinnyemmie.com/
I really like it...especially her blog about the reset button. I hope you like it, too!

A successful day

I've had a successful day! I went to the Markin Center today where I walked a mile, worked out on various machiens, did wall push-ups, and all-in-all, had a great workout. After that, I stopped at Aldi's and loaded up on all sorts of fresh vegetables and fruit. Tonight, I made a great spaghetti sauce with lots of fresh green peppers, mushrooms, and onions served over whole wheat pasta and a really nice salad, too. I really felt invigorated this evening and got some things done around the house, too. I'm so excited. It would have been easy to skip the workout today, but I just told myself that achieving my goal is more important than anything else I would have accomplished.
I have my lunch packed for tomorrow and have clothes together to take for a workout over lunch. I learned there's a free streching and toning class being offered over the lunch hour on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays so I'm checking it out tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to it! I think this will be good fr me. Lunchtime is my social time, and the thing that excites me about this is that at least one of my friends will be in this class too.
I'm geared up for a successful week of weight loss!

Back at it

Wow, it's hard to believe it's been close to three months since I last posted. My weight loss fell by the wayside, but I'm back with it! I have a new incentive: I'm going to Rome this fall, and I have a new goal: to lose 100 pounds by October!
I've been looking over the tour books, and it's clear there are lots of steps and hills in Rome, and I am determined that I am not going to be slowed down by all this extra weight. I get winded way too easily on steps, and it really annoys me. I don't want to live my day-to-day life like this, and I certainly don't want to bogged down when I go on vacation. I'm thinking I should have set travel goals along with weight loss a long time ago!
This week, I've worked out with Matt, my personal trainer, three times: on Monday, Thursday, and today and walked or worked out the other days except Friday. I didn't weigh myself until Thursday, and when I weighed myself again this morning, I already had lost 4.5 lbs.!
I'm trying to find ways to eat plenty of vegetables in ways other than just salads. Don't get me wrong--I enjoy salads, but I don't want to get bored. I'm always one who is up for a bargain, but I've decided I need to change my mindset if I'm serious about losing weight. I went to Buffalo Wild Wings before a Bradley game. Instead of ordering the wings, though, I ordered a chicken wrap with grilled chicken and paid a little extra to substitute the fries with salad. That's going to be my new approach: forget the price, and look for what's healthy.
I eat out a lot, and that isn't going to change. I'm a very social person, and I just need to make the right choices and keep my ultimate goal in mind. I know I can do this. Oh, while I'm talking about eating, I have to share about dinner last night. My sister Diane and I went to the Rhythm Kitchen in downtown Peoria. What a great place to find many healthy choices. We both chose a portabella pizza. A portabella mushroom cap is stuffed with spinach, turkey pepperoni and topped with a little mozzarella. A vegetarian version with soy mozzarella also is available. It was great...and it was very filling. It was served with a small wedge of garlic bread and a little side of fruit. I'd highly recommend it.
On to other things. This week has been a tough week for me emotionally. The reasons aren't important, what is important is that I have come to the realization that even though there are many things in life that are out of my control, the one thing I can control is me. I know that in the past, I've turned to food for comfort. I'm not going to do that anymore. That's self-defeating, and I have to stop that. Instead, I'm finding victory in making the right food choices, in making myself exercise when it's not even close to my favorite thing to do. I realize than an hour of effort in exercise s going to help me not only with my health in the long-run, but it's going to have an immediate impact on how I feel every day, right away.
Bradley offers a Weight Watchers program, and I learned on Friday that they just started a new session. I'll be able to join next week. I really know what I should and should not eat, but hopefully this will help keep me motivated and on track, too. I understand they have a new program, and one of the things is that they allow unlimited fruit in addition to unlimited vegetables. I'm excited about that. I really like just about every fruit, as well as most vegetables, but fruit seems easier to snack on. I think I'm really going to like this.
I'm also fortunate that I have friends at work who know that I've started a weight loss plan, and they are asking about how I'm doing and supporting me. They ask me how my work outs go and they've also given me some pointers. For instance, one of my co-workers said that she bought a special, smaller plate that is hers. I remember when I was in Weight Watchers before, that they suggested using a smaller plate, but I love the idea of buying some special dishes just for weight loss. I really like my winter, snowman dishes, and I've always used the salad plate as a dinner plate. I still have them out, and before I put away my winter dishes, I plan to buy a few smaller, pretty plates to use.
Another tip: Matt says it's good to drink a glass of water about a half-hour before eating. I've heard this before, but I've not really done it before. Overall, I've been trying to drink more water, as I know it's important to drink plenty of it. He also said he tries to eat some vegetables before a big meal, especially broccoli, to help feel full.
Anyway, I'm really exited about this. 4.5 lbs. in just a couple of days! My immediate goal is to lose 20 lbs. by the end of the month. I'm confident I can reach this goal. I'm willing to stay focused on eating right, be disciplined about exercise, and start being in control of my health.